How to Feel Safe After Trauma
- Moe | Scarlet Plus
- Nov 13, 2023
- 5 min read
Trauma, a word that often brings to mind scenes from movies or pages of a novel, is, in reality, a far more personal and complex experience. It's like an uninvited storm that enters our lives, leaving a trail of emotional upheaval. My journey in understanding trauma began not in a therapist's office or a classroom, but through the stories of people I've met – each narrative unique, yet profoundly interconnected by shared threads of resilience and struggle.
On this page:
What's Trauma Really About?
Think of trauma as your brain's way of saying, “Whoa, that was way too much!” It's like an emotional overload that happens when stuff gets too intense – like a car crash, surviving a natural disaster, or dealing with something really scary over a long period, like bullying or abuse.
Protect your self After Trauma
Feeling safe after enduring trauma or developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PSTD) can be a challenge. Growing up, I had a persistent uneasy feeling in my gut that manifested as a constant stomach ache. After being sexually assaulted by another (though older) child, I found myself unable to feel at ease in my own body. I worried not only about my personal safety but also my family's — especially since the boy threatened to hurt me and my loved ones if I told anyone what he did to me. Feeling safe with PTSD turned out to be very hard.
This unsafe feeling lingered for years after the assault. In fact, it created a sort of snowball effect that seemingly attracted more trauma and reinforced the idea that I was in danger. Thankfully, through therapy, I've discovered some ways to comfort myself and cultivate that feeling of safety.
The Many Faces of Trauma
Trauma doesn't have just one look. It's got a whole wardrobe:
Physical Trauma: This is the stuff that leaves marks on your body. It's the bruises, the cuts, the physical reminders of something bad.
The Mind Game: This is the sneakier side. It's the nightmares, the sudden panic when you hear a loud noise, or feeling numb when you're supposed to be happy.
Different Strokes for Different Folks: Trauma isn’t picky. It hits everyone differently. Some folks have it hit once and hard (acute trauma), others deal with it over and over (chronic), and some face a mix of different traumatic events (complex).
Trauma's Sneaky Side Effects
Trauma can be a bit of a ninja, sneaking up on you when you least expect it. You might find yourself super jumpy, having a hard time sleeping, or getting mad over the tiniest things. It's like your brain's stuck in this “danger” mode and can’t switch it off.
3 ways to heal from Trauma Having difficulty talking about feelings
1. Understand Your Body’s Response to Traumatic Experiences
Understanding the way our bodies and brains respond to traumatic events is vital for effective management of these responses. It's important for individuals who have experienced trauma, as well as those around them, to know that fear reactions are natural and instinctive, akin to how we reflexively jump when caught off guard.
Here's a simpler explanation: Our brain is composed of different parts, each with its specific function. When confronted with a potential threat, like a traumatic memory, a primitive part of our brain triggers a fear response. This could manifest as fighting, fleeing, or freezing. During these times, the part of our brain responsible for logical thinking is less active. As a result, we might find our thoughts scattered, struggle to express ourselves, or have difficulty thinking clearly.
Our fear responses, whether it's getting angry, avoiding certain situations, or completely withdrawing, can be upsetting. However, it's important to realize that these aren't indications of personal shortcomings. They are, in fact, ways our brain tries to safeguard us, developed over thousands of years to handle perceived threats.
For those who have undergone trauma, their brain's alert system may become hypersensitive, triggering fear responses even in safe environments. Acknowledging when this happens is crucial. Being aware allows us to better manage our thoughts, feelings, and actions that arise from these fear responses.
2. Ground Yourself with Your 5 Senses
Traumatic memories can pull you into the past, while anxiety and hypervigilance project fear into the future. If you connect with your body in the present moment, you can get some distance from the thoughts that do not serve you. After all, the present is the only place where any of us can create change.
You can ground yourself by looking around your surroundings for objects tied to your five senses. Try to find:
5 different things you can see in the room
4 things you can physically touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell,
1 thing you can taste.
Did you notice anything you didn’t before? If you are going to a stressful event or talking about your trauma, try holding a grounding object (a worry stone, beaded bracelet, or fidget toy) or use a strong, pleasing scent such as a diffuser or essential oils. Focusing on the physical sensations while you talk can help you stay clear and grounded.
3. Take Care of Your Body to Increase Resilience
Looking after your body is super important, especially when you're dealing with big feelings. If you're exhausted, starving, or in any kind of pain, your brain struggles to stay sharp and see things clearly. That's when emotions can really hit you hard.
It's pretty common to fall into some not-so-great habits after going through something tough. This might mean eating in unhealthy ways, turning to substances, or getting into risky stuff.
Focusing on getting physically healthier is a big part of getting back on track. Activities like yoga, dance, or just regular workouts are awesome for this. They're not just good for your mood and overall health, but they're super helpful for healing from hard experiences. They help your body learn to switch between being active and relaxed in a healthy way.
Not sure where to begin? That's totally okay! Start slow, and remember to always put your safety first. Every little positive change you make is a step forward. Whether that's learning more about how tough experiences affect your body, choosing sobriety, dealing with health concerns, or trying a new calming technique.
Most importantly, remember you're not going through this alone. None of this is your fault, and you're definitely not broken. You didn't get to choose what happened to you or how your body responds to stress. But you can choose to ask for help, and it's there whenever you're ready for it.
Conclusion summary
Dealing with trauma is like navigating a tricky maze – there are twists and turns, and sometimes you hit a dead end. But the important thing is to keep moving. You've got the strength, even on the days when you feel like you don't. And hey, we're all in this together.
Keep your head up, keep your heart strong, and remember, every step forward is a victory. Here’s to finding our way through the maze, one step at a time.
You could also reach out for anxiety treatment at Adelson Behavioral & Mental Health Services. Our leading provider of care for people with mental health conditions like Depression and other conditions.
